Thursday, April 2, 2009

A Rosie by Any Other Name

And the number one reason why you can't trust vicious Pit Bulls... 1. They will steal your heart like a thief in the night, showing you complete and pure love that only a Pit Bull can show. ~Jason Mann (The other nine reasons are here)

If you're observant, you'll have noticed an addition to the page. In case you aren't all that observant, to the right, below Tiny's Tiny Thoughts you'll find a new picture, Sly Rosie. Rosie is the latest addition to our menagerie of dogs. Yes, Rosie is a pit bull.

Well, like our Labrador Deceiver, Rottenweiller, and our bio-hazard Chihuahua-Terrier mistake, she's more of a Pitiful Bull, but you get the idea.

Rosie caught the Wife's eye, supposedly when she was driving home. Supposedly, this tiny puppy (probably less than six weeks old) managed to follow the Wife's pickup home. The Wife, who had sworn that there would be no more dogs in the house, could not possibly take her to the Humane Society. "Just look at those eyes," she cooed.

Well, I did. Rosie is the only dog I've seen that perpetually appears to be recovering from a hangover. Her eyes, particularly on waking up, are red-rimmed and seem to say, "Man, where am I? The last thing I remember is knocking back a couple of boilermakers." You just have to love a dog like that.

Rosie has grown a bit since then, but she's still the second smallest dog in the house. She doesn't realize that, of course. Fortunately, Tiny is a peace-loving dog, who is willing to share tennis balls and the couch. Emily is bitchier, but Rosie figured out that Emily likes her ears licked, so they reached a quick accommodation. Stinky just pretends she's the only dog in the house.

By the way, the reason that Stinky doesn't appear here or on Explorations (where Emily hangs out) is that she's horribly camera-shy. She gets freaked out by the flash, which she seems to think is lightening. If a picture is taken in her vicinity, she immediately goes into hiding.

I have been bemused by the reaction people have to a pit bull. Rosie's picture is on my work computer, and people always react the same way. "Awwwwww," they'll say. "Isn't she adorable? Wait a minute, isn't that a pit bull?"

Yes she is, and what of it? Pit bulls have gotten a horrible rap because of the human dreck that trains them to be fighting dogs. That same dreck will try to train anything to kill anything else for their amusement.

Any dog can be viscious. Most often, this is because the owner either teaches it to be viscious or treats the animal inhumanely. I've had more than one person complain about a nippy dog then describe how he or she beats the dog if they exhibit bad behavior. I'm no Dog Whisperer, but I sure as heck know that if someone treats an animal in a violent manner, the animal is going to be more violent, not less.

Rosie has shown that she can be a lovable and conniving as all the other dogs. She has all of us wrapped around her dewclaw.

Rosie does have her faults. She is possessive. It's not that she will growl or anything nasty. No, if she gets hold of something, she hides it. The Wife has frequently had to locate slippers, lighters, bandanas, and other miscellaneous items in one of Rosie's hidey-holes.

She is also ingenious (Rosie, the Wife not so much). Not too long ago, the Wife got some new toe-nail clippers for the dogs. She made the mistake of leaving them on a side table that Rosie could reach. After a while, the clippers were missing, so the Wife went to Rosie's stash, and sure, enough they were there -- disassembled. We're not talking about torn apart, we're talking disassembled. Somehow, she (Rosie, not the Wife) had carefully removed the screw holding the two halves of the clippers together. There in her stash were both halves, the screw, and the nut in a neat little grouping.

Rosie is a Swiss Army dog, evidently with at least one Phillips-head tooth.

Now that's scary.

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